Geographical Fix

002

Several years ago, a very good friend of mine, who seems to be, in most every way, happy and successful in life, told me that a “geographical fix” can change one’s life for the better, in almost every way.

I didn’t think much of it at the time; I had already bought a house, all of my close family lives here, and I have a few close friends nearby (I’m not one of those people who have hundreds of friends; I’m rather an introvert in most aspects).

However, given the past few years of my life, and what I am experiencing at the present time, his words to me have confounded my entire being.  Circumstances being what they are, I may or may not lose the home that I purchased, here in rural Maine, some nine years ago.  So, the question begs to be asked:  Should I stay in Maine, or leave?

I toggle this idea around in my brain at least fifty times a day.  Should I even TRY to stay, or just give up and relocate?  I have lived in Maine all of my life; essentially within a 50 mile radius.  I grew up, went to college, got a job, bought a home… all here.  Here is where my life began, but here is also where my life fell apart.

So… what now?

Do I head for “greener pastures?”  I am not encumbered by a job at this point, although I hope to be very soon; being “disabled” is something that I absolutely abhor and wish to remedy as soon as possible.  Finding a job “elsewhere” would likely be even easier, when the time comes, if I was not in “rural Maine.”  Also; no one would know me.  No store clerks would be reaching for the items that I regularly purchase as soon as I walk in.  No one would know that I reached such a low point that I would go to the local convenience store, un-showered, hat on my head, fuzzy fleece pj pants and all, to buy cigarettes, a pizza, or whatnot.  It would be a clean slate.

I wouldn’t have to live where everyone knows everybody’s business.  In rural Maine, it is impossible to escape people “knowing” your business… from your purchasing habits to your fuel bill to the fact that you live alone… it all seems to be public knowledge.

Depending on where I moved, I wouldn’t have to deal with the frigid winters, the snow removal, the cold, cold, cold, that is Maine.  My elder two dogs would be more comfortable in a warmer climate.  I could also have food delivered, be close to popular shopping places, experience much more “culture,” and not have to drive an hour one way to see a doctor that I need to see, or get a dog food that I want to try.  Never mind the fact that I could go into a store without the “Cheers” aspect of everyone knowing my name, and my business.

What is stopping me?

I rather like my little house.  It’s kind of shitty; it needs a new roof, interior paint, some new floors, new cabinets, the basement leaks… but it’s MY house.  I bought it, and I’ve put a lot of work into it so far.  It also has almost an acre, an ENTIRE ACRE of 6′ chainlink fencing for my dogs to roam, and I own a total of six acres.  This house might not seem like much of anything to most people, but, to me, it’s kinda perfect.  It’s small, but plenty big enough for me and my canine crew.

My family.  My Mom and Dad, although not together anymore, are both close by.  Mom is always up for dinner at her place, and Dad is always there for me if my furnace is acting up, or, well, any household dilemma.  He has likely saved me thousands in repair bills.  My sister, and my three nephews and niece are also close by, as is one of my closest friends, and my “honorary” two nephews and niece.  When I’m not in the emotional state I’m in currently, I enjoy seeing all of them, and spoiling the hell out of all of my nephews and nieces, whether by blood or bond.

The dilemma continues.  I await word on whether a loan modification will be approved for my home.  IF it is; I might just stay here. Maybe.  IF it’s not… well, I just don’t know, still.  I need some advice.  What I DO know is that I’m constantly looking at housing for sale outside of Maine; hell, mostly outside of New England entirely.  I’ve become such a hermit here; I have no “life,” and have deteriorated drastically in the past few years.  Could a “geographical fix” be what I need?  Could it really, and truly, change my life for the better?  Would a complete and utter fresh start be the remedy I need to repair my life?  Could I possibly find contentment, even, dare I say, happiness?  Dot dot dot…

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About Whimsical Scribe

I'm a writer at heart, but not by trade (yet anyway). I graduated from college in 2002 with a double Bachelor's degree in both English (creative writing concentration) and Psychology. Both are fairly useless majors in the job market today, unless you further them, which is what I have started to do and one day hope to have the finances/wellness to continue. Sadly, I have not been inclined to do much writing at all, of late, which is why I decided to start this blog. I live in a very rural area in the Northeast USA. I am the owner of three fantastic canines, an animal welfare advocate, vegetarian, environmentalist, and progressive thinker. I support the Ian Somerhalder Foundation, the Animal Rescue Site, and hope one day to become a doggy foster parent again, along with becoming a writer at some point in the near future. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and also struggle with major depression and anxiety, and have for most of my life. PTSD is something I also live with. I am hoping that talking about/blogging about these things will be a help, both to me, and to others as well. Sometimes, one of my people may blog something as well, so not all views presented in this blog may be "mine" so to speak.
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